You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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