She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
