im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
