Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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