All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
