he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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