Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
