All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
