Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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