hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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