Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
