just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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