Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Quick, to the slutcave!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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