i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
