Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need a burrito and a hug.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
