operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
