You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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