I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
