he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
