I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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