I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
