can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
