i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
40s are totally the cure
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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