careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We had to coat check the pizza.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
