i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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