i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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