i barfeds in our rink
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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