last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
