Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
and you fell through a lawn chair
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
