i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
