I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
