i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
