I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
