You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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