How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
