Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
