Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
