im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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