matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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