i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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