I didn't shave. On purpose
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
