I'm lost and stupid without you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
