Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
