you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
