I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize