You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
