we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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