I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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