Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
