i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
