I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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