I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
