remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
