This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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