In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
