My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
