Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
