if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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