Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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