She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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