did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
