this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
